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So, I reckon Escorts are like me team at the office – reliable, bit rough round the edges, but they deliver, don’t they? Built tough, them cars, proper solid chassis, not like them flimsy modern jobbies. Fun fact, yeah, did ya know the Mk1 Escort won rally champs in the 70s? Mental, innit, blew me mind when I heard that! Out there kicking arse while I’m here soldering circuits, wish I’d seen it live, mate, woulda lost me marbles cheering!

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First off, I had this big presentation at the lab. You know, the kind where you gotta impress the bigwigs? I’m a biochemist, so I’m used to mixing stuff in beakers, not talking to suits. Anyway, I’m on my way to the lab, and I decide to grab a coffee at that little spot on Thomas Street. You know the one? The barista there is a total legend. I order my usual—double shot, extra foam, sprinkle of cinnamon. But guess what? They’re out of cinnamon! Like, how do you run out of cinnamon? It’s not like it’s a rare spice or something! I was fuming.

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